George W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the after shave. Clinton was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Hillary will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."
The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"
Bush replied, "Go ahead. My wife Laura doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
Billy Joe Bob and Bubba were walking down a country road when they came upon a young woman with a flat tire on her bicycle. Bubba stopped to help her and Billy Joe Bob continued on down the road. Soon after, Bubba came riding up on the bike and Billy Joe Bob asked him what had happened.
"Well," said Bubba, "I stopped and fixed the tire for that girl and after I did that, she took off her panties, lay down in the grass and told me to take whatever I wanted. I chose the bicycle."
Billy Joe Bob said, "Well, Bubba, that was probably the right choice, cuz them panties probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
I went to pick up my car the other day and my mechanic who just happens to be blonde told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."