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011206
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Over the past few years more money has been spent on breast implants,
penis implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's.
In a few years we will have a lot of people running around with huge
breasts and long penis's and they won't remember what to do with them.
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See the older jokes at www.solstikkan.has.it
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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
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The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his
breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume she snarled, that there
is a Damn good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the
morning?"
There is. He replied : Where's Breakfast.
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Mark: You know Joe, I made love to my wife last night for the first
time in two months!

Joe: Two months?! That's a long time! I'm really glad to hear
that things are better for you and your wife.

Mark: Well...actually we almost made love.

Joe: ALMOST?! How can you ALMOST make love?

Mark: Well, I found out afterwards that my wife was just using
me to time an egg.
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What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?
Hello Ladies!
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Luigi: "Father
I wanna an annulment."

Priest: "Why
Luigi? You justa gota married yesterday."

Luigi: "I tink I married my sister."

Priest: "No, no Luigi. I know you an your wife alla your lives
and there is no relation. Whata make-a you tink she's your sister?"

Luigi: "Last night we undress for bed she look at me say
Oh, brother!
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A certain virginal and shy college freshman was lucky to have a
roommate who was considerably more experienced. When the bashful boy
broke down and explained his predicament his roommate was quick to
offer to set him up with a blonde who'd made the rounds of the campus.
Just take this bimbo out to dinner and a show and then let nature take
its course he explained reassuringly. This girl knows what the score is
and she's even a natural blonde.

The roommate arranged the date as promised. The freshman was delighted
by his cute outgoing companion and they spent the evening dining and
dancing. On the way home he parked his car in a dark lane broke out in
a cold sweat and blurted out
Gosh, I sure would love to have a little pussy.

I would too, sighed the blonde : Mine's the size of a goddamn milk pail.
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What do you call a dead blonde??
Last years winner at the hide and seek contest!!
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A pig farmer in Alabama was trying to get his pigs to breed
with no success. Every morning he'd run outside to the barn and
perform a pregnancy test on the female pigs.
Everyday the results were negative. The farmer was baffled.

One day he called the local vet and asked for some advice.
The farmer explained that he couldn't get his pigs to mate.
The vet replied : Try artificial insemination.
What's that? the farmer asked.

The veterinarian said : It just means if you can't get your pigs
to mate, you'll have to do it for them.

So the next day the farmer rounded his pigs into the back of his
pickup and headed into the woods. Soon he stopped and one by one
he shagged each of the pigs.

Later that week the farmer checked the pigs. None of them were
pregnant! So the farmer took the pigs out again and shagged them
really good.

After days of this with no pregnant pigs the farmer gave up.
One morning as he went to feed the pigs he arrived to find that the
pigs were all missing! He ran back inside the house and shouted

Wife! The pigs are gone!

His wife replied : Honey you're not going to believe this, but all of
your pigs are sitting in your pickup, and one of them is honking the horn.
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