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See updated pics at www.solstikkan.has.it
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25 rules guys wished women knew

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it's up, put it down.

3. Don't cut your hair.

4. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Get rid of your cat.

6. Sunday = Sports

7. Anything you wear is fine. Really!

8. Women wearing wonder bras and low cut blouses lose their right
to complain about having their boobs stared at.

9. You have too many shoes.

10. Crying is blackmail.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point
blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like the soap opera guys.

19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know
how pretty you are?

21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

22. You can ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done.Not both.

23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

24. You have enough clothes.

25. Nothing says "I love you" like sex.
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Temptation is caused by sensation, a guy sticks his destination in
your location to increase the population of the next generation...
Do you understand my explanation or do you need a demonstration?
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A Hebrew teacher stood in front of his class and said, "The Jewish
people have observed their 5,759th year as a people.
Consider that the Chinese, for example, have only observed their
4,692nd year as a people. Now what does it mean to you?"
After a moment of silence, a chubby student raised his hand.
"Yes, David," the teacher said. "What does it mean?"
"Well," David replied "It means that the Jews had to go without
Chinese food for 1,067 years."
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According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male
and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (the only
members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so), male
reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late
November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the
spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's
reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen........had
to be a girl.

We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red
velvet suit all around the world in one night, and not get lost.
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What do you call a Stoned Eskimo?
Baked Alaskan
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A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly,
"I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' the Bible?"
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "So, Son, what does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy.
It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'"
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son. I'm still paying."
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A girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted.
The officer who answered the phone, asked, "When did this happen?"
She replied, "Last week."
The police then asked, "Why did you wait until now to report it?"
"Well," she said. "I didn't know that I was assaulted until the check
bounced."
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It was mealtime during a trip on a small airline in the Northwest.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in coach.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
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The blonde man was crying at the bar, and the bartender gave him a
free drink.
"What's the trouble?" asked the friendly bartender.
"I got kicked out of chef school," said the blonde.
"They said I gave them the oldest excuse in the book, and all I did was
tell the truth."
"What did you say?"
"I told them the dog ate my homework."
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DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT:
* Lost her boyfriend because she forgot where she laid him.
* Thought that asphalt was rectum trouble.
* Was called tapioca because she could be made in a minute.
* Thought her typewriter was pregnant because it missed a period.
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A man goes to see his doctor feeling a bit unwell. The doctor checks
him over and eventually finds a couple of bags of money up his ass. He
pulls them out and can't resist totaling up the value of the coins.

"Well", says the doctor, "I've found $1999.99 up your ass."

"Hmmm", replies the patient, "That would explain why I've not
been feeling too grand."
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Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
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A gay guy walks into the grocery store and heads back towards the
meat department. After a few moments of looking at the merchandise,
the butcher asks him if he would like to place an order.

The gay guy says , yes and promply orders 5 pounds of salami.

The butcher asks him if he would like that sliced, to which the gay
guy replies, "Does my asshole look like a piggybank?"
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One evening, a woman was working on completing a jingle to win a large
cash prize from Carnation Milk.
Carnation furnished the first line, "I like Carnation best of all," and
it was to be completed in 50 words or less.

A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a Carnation
Milk representative came to her door and told her her entry was the best,
but it couldn't be published, and they were giving her a consolation
award of $1,000.00.

Here is her entry:

I like Carnation best of all,
No tits to pull, no shit to haul.
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch,
Just punch a hole in the son of a bitch.
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