See new pics at : www.solstikkan.has.it
Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Hudson, Florida forwarded the
following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after
the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a
credit to all human kind. Read it and forward it to all those who could
use a lift.

Dear Hudson Middle School,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior
citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Hudson Assisted
Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now
and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless your
for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received
one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot
of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could
listen to mine, and I said "fuck you."

Thanks again!
If you have a lot a tension and you get a headache, do what it says
on the aspirin bottle: "Take two" and "Keep away from children"...
Dave walks into the bar and sees his friend Jeff huddled at the bar,
looking depressed. Dave walks over and asks Jeff what's wrong.

"Well," replies Jeff, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I
wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Dave with a smile.

"Well," says Jeff, straightening up,
"I finally mustered up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Dave, "when are you going out?"

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Jeff, "but I was worried
I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my pecker
to my leg,so if I did,it wouldn't show."

"Sensible" says Dave.

"So I got to her door," says Jeff, "and I rang her doorbell. She
answered it in the sheerest,tiniest dress you ever saw."

"Great! What happened next?" asks Dave in excitement.

Jeff huddles over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."
A representative from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the Pope.
After receiving the papal blessing he whispers, "Your Eminence, we
have a deal for you. If you change The Lord's Prayer from 'give us
this day our daily bread....' to 'give us this day our daily
chicken....' then we will donate $500 million dollars to the Church".

The Pope responds saying, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word
of the Lord and it must not be changed."

"Well," says the Tyson man, "we are prepared to donate $1 billion to
the Church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our
daily bread....' to 'give us this day our daily chicken...."

Again the Pope replies "That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of
the Lord and it must not be changed".

Finally, the Tyson guy says, "This is our last offer. We will donate
$5 billion to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us
this day our daily bread....' to 'give us this day our daily
chicken....'" and he leaves.

The next day the Pope meets with the College of Cardinals to say that
he has good news and some bad news.

"The good news is that the Church has come into $5 billion."

"The bad news is that we are losing The Wonderbread Account!"
This young couple got married and decided to honeymoon in Miami Beach, FL.
With limited resources, they decided to take a bus to Florida from New
York City.
On the first day, the bus got as far as Delaware and broke down.
The bus company put the passengers up at a nearby motel. The young
husband was most anxious to consummate the marriage during that
evening. But, the young wife said, "No. We must wait till we start our
honeymoon in Miami Beach."

The next morning, they got back on the bus. But, in South Carolina, the
bus breaks down again. Again, the bus company puts the passengers up at
a local motel. With more urgency, the young groom wants to consummate
the marriage, but the young wife says, "Not until we start our
honeymoon in Miami Beach."

The next morning, they got back on the bus and, in Jacksonville FL, the
bus breaks down for the third time. Once again, the bus company paid
for a motel. They are hardly in the room a minute when the young bride
tears off her clothes and his and pent up sex runs rampant. Afterwards,
they are lying in bed and the young groom, still overwhelmed, asks his
young bride "Why is it, after insisting we wait to start our honeymoon
in Miami Beach, you change your mind about waiting?" The young bride
says to the young groom,

"Well, I changed my mind when I heard the couple behind us say
'by the time we get to Miami Beach the fucking season will be over'
Differences between Christmas and Hannukkah

10. No roof damage from reindeer.
9. Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish loved ones
8. If someone screws up on a gift, he or she has seven more days to
correct the mistake.
7. Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocolate coins) on candle races.
6. You can actually use your fireplace without fearing for Santa.
5. Naked spin-the-dreidel games.
4. Fun waxy buildup on the menorah.
3. No awkward explanations of virgin birth.
2. No Irving Berlin songs.
1. Cheer optional.

The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along
they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was
walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the
critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes
that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk
when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to
put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were
probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he
fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as
well kiss your ass good-bye.