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011221
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A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas to Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and
said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why
don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the
flight attendant. So the boy asked her, "If big dogs have baby dogs and
big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
He nodded.
So the stewardess said, "Tell your mother that Southwest always pulls
out on time."
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Deep in the backwoods,the cajun's wife went into labor in the middle of the
night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. since there
was no electricity,the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said,
"Here,you hold this high so i can see what i'm doing" soon, ababy boy was
brought into the world.
"Whoa there," said the doctor. "don't be in a rush to put the lantern down
...i think there's another one coming," sure enough ,within minutes he had
delivered a baby girl. "no, no, don't be in a hurry to be putting down that
lantern... it seems there's another one in there!" cried the doctor.
The cajun scratched his head with a puzzled look, and asked the doctor,
"do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"
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When white man found this land, indianswere running it. there were no taxes,
no debt,plenty of buffalo, plenty of beaver,medicine men worked free,
women did all the work, men hunted and fished all the time.
The white man was dumb enough to think he could improve on that system!
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Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than
the people who have to wait for them?
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A foursome is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of ladies
are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and
when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about
10 feet, goes over to it and hacks it another 10 feet. She looks up at
the men, who are watching, and says apologetically: I guess all those
fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men
immediately replies,
"Now, you see, that's your problem.
You should have taken golf lessons instead."
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How can you tell if you have a cheap doctor?
He takes Friday off to play miniature golf.
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It was a hot day in Iowa. Helga hung the wash out to dry, put a roast
in the oven, then went down the street to pick up some dry cleaning.

"Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked down Main
Street. She passed by a tavern and