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A homosexual went into a bar and met a big, burly man and they soon
left together. The next day the homosexual came back in the bar, all
battered and bruised, with two broken legs and his head bandaged. The
bartender asked, "What the hell happened to you?"
"Well," the homosexual replied, "that man I left with yesterday wined
me and dined me, then took me up to his apartment and gave me a bath,
powdered me down and put me in a beautiful negligee.
Then he picked me up in his arms, carried me over to the window by the
moonlight and asked me, 'Are you my little nightingale?'
"I said yes, and he replied, 'Well, fly, you little fucker, fly!' and
threw me out the window!"
================================================================
A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk,
the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?"
"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.
The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into
a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you." he said.
"Because" replies the receptionist. "You've obviously caused some
embarrassment in this room full of strangers. you should have said
there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the
problem further with the doctor in private".
The man walked out, waited several minutes and reentered. The
receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my 'ear'," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your
ear,sir?"
"I can't piss out of it." the man replied.
======================================================================
Late one night a woman was walking home when a man grabbed her and
dragged her into the bushes. "Help me! Help me!" she screamed. "I'm
being robbed!"
"You ain't being robbed, slut!" her attacker interrupted. "You're being
screwed!"
The woman looked down at her attacker as he unzipped his jeans. "If
you're screwing me with that," she fumed,
"I am being robbed!"
======================================================================
After listening to other kids in the classroom telling all the cool
talents their parents have, the teacher called on Little Johnny.
Quickly thinking of something just as good or better than the talents
of the other kids' parents, Little Johnny thought of something.
Little Johnny exclaimed, "My dad eats light bulbs!"
All through the classroom there were remarks of "Cool!"
The teacher, in shock, asked,
"What makes you think your father eats light bulbs?"
Little Johnny replies, "The other night when I was in bed, my dad said,
'Honey, if you turn the light out I will eat it.'
======================================================================
A sweet, beautiful young would-be starlet comes to Hollywood to seek
her fame and fortune. At her first power cocktail party she goes to the

host and asks him. . "Who's the most powerful man in the room?"

"That would be Jerry, over there by the caviar," he says.

The young woman walks over to Jerry and says, "Excuse me, Jerry,
would you mind stepping back behind this column? I'd like to talk to
you."
Jerry and the girl step behind the column and she says, "Jerry... I'm
gonna unzip your fly, take out your cock, and give you the best blowjob
you ever had...!"
Jerry smiles slightly and says, "Well, okay. But...... what's in it for

me?"
======================================================================
A beautiful, young lady about 21 went to a doctor and asked for a
check-up. The doctor claimed that he had to use a thermometer for the
check-up. So the doctor asked her, "Where shall I put the
thermometer?"

The girl replied, "...uh ...not in my mouth, Doc. I might swallow it."

"Okay...let's try your armpit." the doctor suggested.

"Well, it might tickle me, Doc. How about my butt?"
the girl queried.

"Okay then," so he put the thing in the girls butt.

Later, the girl while giggling exclaimed, "that's not my butt, Doc!"

The doctor replied, "That's okay dear... it's not the thermometer,
either."
======================================================================
How many chauvanists does it take to change a tbulb?
None! let the bitch cook in the dark!
======================================================================
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Blonde Moments!

Two telephone company crews were putting up telephone poles.
At the end of the day, the company foreman asked the first crew how
many poles they had put in the ground. "Fifteen" was the answer.

"Not bad, not bad at all," the foreman said.

Turning to the blonde crew he asked how many they had put in.
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======================================================================
Two Blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks
in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."

The second Blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the
mirror and says, "You dumb ass, it's me!"
======================================================================
Curly's Classic Joke Of The Day!

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. After a few minutes, he starts
dialing numbers like a telephone but on the back of his hand. He then
flips his hand over, and starts talking into the palm of his hand.
The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough
neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble from weirdos here.
The guy says, "you don't understand. I'm very high tech. I had a
phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the
cellular."
The bartender says, "prove it." The guy dials up a number and hands
his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and
carries on a brief conversation.
"That's incredible," he says, "I would never have believed it."
"yeah" said the man, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you
name it. By the way, where is the men's room?"
The man goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes pass and he doesn't return.
Fearing the worst and given the violence in the neighborhood, the
bartender goes to check on him. The bartender finds the guy spread
eagle against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of

toilet paper shoved up his rear.
"Oh no!" said the bartender, "Did the locals rob you? Are you hurt?"
The man casually turns around and says, "no, I'm just waiting for a
fax."
======================================================================
Little Johnny was in school one day when the teacher brought around
cookies for snack time.
"Here, Little Johnny, have a cookie."
"I don't fucking want one," declared Johnny.
The teacher was shocked. She called Little Johnny's mother and
scheduled her to come in for a meeting the next day.
When Little Johnny's mother arrived, the teacher had her hide behind
the curtain until snack time came around.
As she came to Little Johnny, she again told him, "Here Little Johnny.
It's time for your cookie."
"I don't fucking want one," stated Little Johnny again.
The teacher pulled aside the curtain and said to his mother,
"See? Did you hear what he said?"
"So?" said his mother, "Don't fucking give him one !"
======================================================================
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======================================================================
I NEED SOME NEW JOKES & FRESH LINKS!!
Feel Free to send them in to
David@curlydavid.com or
curlydavid@yahoo.com
======================================================================
Remember - I don't write 'em ! And don't be offended, they're just
JOKES!
Well that's all folks, keep on laughing!
Hope you all have a great week.
If you have any comments, jokes or suggestions please feel free to
email me at curlydavid@yahoo.com.
Please pass the word on to all of your friends to join CurlyDavid's
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