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WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS:
Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his
wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too
dadgum ugly to kiss good-bye."
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's
expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan all the kids to copulate me."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own
mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd
run over Joe's Mom, too."
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in
football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair up in groups of
three, then line up in a circle."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson h