020202 - www.solstikkan.has.it is updated with new pix.
The key to safe sex is in the palm of your hand.
Two priests were talking. The older one said to the younger, "When you came to our church I wondered how your new ideas were going to work.
"When you replaced the front pews with bucket seats, I had my doubts. But now at every mass, the front seats are filled with young people.
"When you 'jazzed up' the choir by singing new and peppy songs, I was afraid it might offend the older folks, but we have more people in church now than ever.
"When you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But more people are coming to confession than ever.
"However, the neon sign out front that reads:
'Toot 'n tell or go to Hell' has to go!
George W. Bush was walking through an airport last week,
when he saw an old man with white hair, a long white beard,
wearing a long white robe and holding a staff.
He walked up to the man, who was staring at the ceiling, and said,
"Excuse me sir, aren't you Moses?" The man stood perfectly still and
continued to stare at the ceiling, saying nothing.
Again George W asked, a little louder this time, "Excuse me sir,
aren't you Moses?"
Again the old man stared at the ceiling motionless without
saying a word.
George W tried a third time, louder yet. "Excuse me sir, aren't
you Moses?" Again, no movement or words from the old man.
He continued to stare at the ceiling.
One of George W's aides asked him if there was a problem &
George W said, "Either this man is deaf or extremely rude. I
have asked him 3 times if he was Moses, and he has not
answered me yet."
To which the man, still staring at the ceiling finally replied,
"I can hear you and yes, I am Moses, but the last time I spoke
to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the wilderness.
Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar,
when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise
to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."
"Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here
find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second
"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired the first fellow.
"My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"
"Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't
noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"
Do you know why you should never drink diet soda during oral sex?
Because then you will have 2 after tastes to get rid of.
Bill and Mark are out walking in the country one fine summer evening.
Bill : "Hey Mark, you see that grove of trees over there ? Well
that's where I had sex for the first time .... we made love while
her mother stood beside and watched over us !"
Mark, being a bit shy, was a little shocked to hear this :
"Are you serious? Did her mother say anything ?"
Bill: "Yeah...... Baaaaaaaaaah!"
This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining
her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to
drill a tooth." The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful
I'd rather have a baby!"
To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind, I have to adjust the
A fellow decided to decorate his bedroom. He wasn't sure how many rolls
of wallpaper he would need but he knew that the Irishman who lived next
door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in
"Murphy," he asked, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your
"Ten" said Murphy.
So the fellow bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job. It looked
wonderful, but he had 2 rolls of wallpaper left over.
"Murphy," he said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom,
but I've got 2 left over!"
"Dat's funny," said Murphy. "So did I."