Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper!
Two good old boys, Bubba and Junior have been promoted from Privates to Sergeants.
Not long after,they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior, there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have a drank."
"But we's privates," protests Junior.
"We's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside. "Now, Junior, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drank."
"But, we's privates," says Junior. "You blind, boy?" asks Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now."
So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba.
"You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you some place and make you feel good but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."
Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Junior," he says, "What you give me the okay for?"
"Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the privates." Then he pointed to his stripes and says, "But we's Sergeants now!
Three women were talking about their love lives.
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and
The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."
The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start
and I have to jump on while it's still going."
When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after
her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it
would be before she could resume her sex life.
"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon.
"You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy."