Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring.
She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?"
He replied, "It cuts off my circulation."
She answered back, "It's supposed to!"
A man was in the hospital recovering from an operation when a
nun walked into his room. She was there to cheer up the sick and
ailing. The man and nun started talking and she asked about his life.
He talked about his wife and 13 children. "My, my," said the nun,
"13 children....you're a good, proper Catholic family. The Lord is
very proud of you!"
"I'm sorry, Sister," he said, "I am not Catholic. I'm Jewish."
"Jewish!?" she replies. "Hmmm....you're a sex maniac, aren't you?"
The very naive young nun was assigned to a parish in the country.
On the first Saturday, the priest asked her if she wanted to go swimming.
She'd never been before, but the priest promised he'd give her lessons.
They changed into bathing suits, then the priest offered her a hand
while they waded into the water.
They splashed around for a few minutes until the nun turned to the
priest and asked, "Father, will I really sink if you take your fingers
out of my hole?"
Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
So men can be open minded.
What is the loose skin around the pussy called?
On a plane bound for New York a flight attendant approached a blonde
sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach
since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm
blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York; and I'm not moving."
Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the
co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her
to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde
replied, "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York, and I'm not
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he
should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how
to handle this."
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear.
She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to
herself, "Why didn't someone just say so?"
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to
her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, "I told
her the first class section wasn't going to New York."