A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells
extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions."
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?"
The woman replies, "I'm a whore."
The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that"
The woman says, "OK, I'm a prostitute."
"No, that is still too crude. Try again."
They both think for a minute, then the woman says, "I'm a chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised over 2,000 cocks last year!"
A nurse says to a girl in the maternity ward, "Would you like your
husband to be present at the birth?"
She says, "I'm afraid I don't have a husband, or a boyfriend. I'm
unattached...I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the birth, the nurse says to the girl, "You have a healthy
bouncing baby, but the baby is black."
The girl says, "I was down on my luck, so I took a job in a porno movie
where the lead man was black."
The nurse says, "The baby also has blonde hair."
The girl says, "There was a Swedish guy in the movie, too."
The nurse says, "The baby also has slanted eyes."
The girl says, "There was a Chinaman in the movie, too."
Then the nurse hands the baby to the girl. The girl spanks it, and it
The girl says, "That's a relief. I was afraid the little bastard was
Terri, a blonde woman who had been unemployed for many months
finally got a job with Public Works. This was a little old town, so
her job was to paint lines down the center of a rural road using a
The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must
stay at or above the set minimum of 2 miles per day of lines.
Terri agrees and starts right away. The Supervisor checked at the
end of day one and found that the blonde had completed 4 miles,
double the required average. The next day, however, he was very
disappointed to find that Terri only accomplished 2 miles.
The Supervisor thought, "Well, she's at the average and I don't want
to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet." The third day, Terri only
did 1 mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to her before this
The boss called Terri in and said, "The first day you did 4 miles, the
second day 2 miles and yesterday only 1 mile. Why?
Is there an injury? A problem? Equipment failure?
What's keeping you from meeting the minimum 2 miles per day?"
Terri replied, "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away
from the paint bucket."