020415 - www.solstikkan.has.it
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
A girl goes to the gynecologist for the first time. She's up in the
stirrups, and the doctor notices she's trembling. He says: "You're
nervous, aren't you?"
"Yes, it's my first visit to a gynechologist."
"Would you like me to numb you down there?"
"Oh, yes please."
He sticks his face between her legs and goes: "Num, num, num . . ."
The teacher wrote "Like I ain't had no fun in months" on the
board and then she said,
"Johnny, how should I correct that?"
Johnny replied, "Maybe get a new boyfriend ?"
When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle
bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the
man ahead of me finally got his license.
He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, I was
standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.
The clerk looked at his picture closely, and reassured him, "It's okay.
That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway".
A man and his wife were talking and he says, You know, I was thinking
of going down to the bar tonight and entering that big-dick contest.
Oh honey, she exclaims, I don't want you taking that out in public!
But sweet thing, he says, the prize is $100.
I don't care, she says I don't want you showing that thing to everybody.
So he lets the subject drop until the following night when his wife
walks in on him in the bedroom, counting out a hundred dollars.
Did you go down and enter that big-dick contest last night after I told
you not to?
Please forgive me, sweetheart. He says.
You mean you took that thing out for everybody to see? she says, tears
welling up in her eyes.
The man looks at her fondly and says, Only enough to win.
What's the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?"
the woodworking teacher asked Judi, the only blonde in the class,
on the first day of school.
Judi pondered the question for a moment, then replied, "Well, I can't
honestly say that I know, being I've never been 'bolted'
The cowboy was walking in the woods one day and he comes to clearing.
There on a blanket was a naked Indian with an erection.
"What are you doing?" the cowboy asks.
The Indian answers, "Me tell time."
"OK, if you are so good, what time is it?"
The Indian looks down at his penis and the shadow it made and said,
"It's 2 o'clock."
The cowboy looks at his watch and says, "By Golly, you are right!"
The cowboy starts walking again and comes upon another naked Indian
laying on a blanket. "Don't tell me... you're telling time also?"
The Indian looks up at him and says, "Yes, me telling time."
"Okay smartass, what time is it?"
The Indian looks up at the sun and down at his penis and says,
"It's 4 o'clock."
The cowboy is amazed at the Indian. He keeps walking and hours later he
comes upon an Indian on a blanket, masturbating.
"Don't tell me you are telling time!?"
Indian looks up at him and says, "No, me winding watch!"