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Looking for ' true love' is like buying a book on how to read.
This guy came into work one day with a fistful of cigars and started
passing them out left and right to celebrate the birth of his son.

"Congratulations, John," said the boss. "How much did the baby weigh?"

"Four and a half pounds," reported the father proudly.

"Gee, that's kind of small."

"What did you expect?" retorted Eric indignantly.
"We've only been married three months."
A group of golfers were approaching the first tee when they noticed a
woman being given first aid. One of the golfers asked what had happened
and he was informed that the woman had been bit by a bee and was having
a reaction.

"Where was she bit?" he asked. "Between the first and second hole," was
the reply.

He then replied, "Wow! She must have been standing right over the hive."
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago.
The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed, "Wow I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.
"Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?"
She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."
Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"
She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."
"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"
The mother said, "We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."

Mother Indian paused and asked her son :
"Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"
In a recent Harris On-line poll 38,562 men across the U.S. were asked to identify women's ultimate fantasy and 97.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.
While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that, in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.
Bill meets Doug at the bar after work. Doug is really upset.
"What's wrong pal?" Bill asked. "You look really down"
"I am. My wife said she wants to have sex in the back seat of the car" Doug replied.
"So what's wrong with that?" Bill asked, seeming somewhat confused.
"Well," Doug sighs, "She said she wants me to be the one driving the car
Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Fido, the family dog.
When asked why by her former employer, she answered, "I never forget a friend. That was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!"