020502 - read them all on www.solstikkan.has.it
What is better than a cold Bud?
A warm bush.
At the Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly
lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to
fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing
together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they
headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their
They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river,
and the gentleman asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made
mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat! When he
finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he
had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon
they came upon another fork in the river. He asked the lady, "Up or
There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild
passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go
fishing again the next day. She said yes.
There they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon
the fork in the river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or Down?"
The woman replied, "Down."
A little puzzled, the gentleman drove the boat down the river when he
came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady, "Up or
She replied "Up."
This really confused the gentleman, so he asked, "What's the deal?
Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down,
you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!"
She replied, "Well yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I
thought the choices were 'FUCK or DROWN'."
Dirty Johnny is walking down the street leading the giraffe.
A cop says, "Kid, where you going?"
Johnny says, "I'm taking this giraffe to get mated."
The cop says, "Where?"
Johnny lifts up the giraffe's tail, points to her snatch, and says,
A woman opened the door of a building and was about to step outside
when she heard a voice saying,
"Don't take that next step or you'll regret it."
She paused and a brick came crashing to the pavement right where she
would have been standing. She looked around and there was no one nearby.
The next day this woman was about to step into the street when she
heard this same voice say, "Don't take that next step or you'll regret it."
As she paused a truck came racing by and smashed into a nearby vehicle.
She knew if she hadn't listened to that voice she would have been hurt
badly, or maybe even killed.
She looked behind her and there was no one nearby. "All right," she
said, "Who are you ?"
"I'm your guardian angel," the voice replied.
"Oh, if that's the case," the woman said, "Where were you on my wedding day?"
The highly religious young man entered his wedding chamber and was
shocked to find his new young bride awaiting him, spread-eagled and
naked on their bed.
"My dear!" he exclaimed, "I expected to find you beside our bed and on
"OK," she said, obediently changing positions, "but I always get the
hiccups when I screw in that position...."
A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and said, "my house is on fire!"
The man on the phone said, "Well, can you tell me how we get there?"
She said, "Duhhh!!! In the big red trucks!"