020519 - www.panda-sonic.has.it - new video - a fathers love -
The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty
advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. I
demand proper manners in bed, she declared, "Just as I do at the
Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled
hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he
asked, with a hint of a smile. "Yes," replied the girl, "much better."
"Very good, darling," the husband whispered. "Now would you be so
kind as to please pass the pussy."
A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"
He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her.
He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.
When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said, "That was the best, honey.
You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself did you?"
His wife said, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my ass."
A guy complains to his doctor that his sex life is deteriorating rapidly.
The doctor tells him he needs to reintroduce excitement, guilt and so
on into the process. He ponders this for a few days and hatches a plan.
"Well," he says to the doctor a week ago, "I did everything you suggested.
The boss let me leave work an hour early. I sped home and I skidded
all the way up the driveway. I slammed open the door, charged into the
house and found Sheila in the living room. I stripped her naked and we
went to it on the coffee table."
"And did you enjoy it?" asked the doctor enthusiastically.
"Well," says the guy slowly and thoughtfully, "somewhat, but the Bible
group thought it was really neat."
On their wedding night, Bruce displays his member to his new blonde
bride and tells her it's the only one in the world. She, of course,
He's gone for a conference for a couple of weeks he returns, only to be
questioned by his new wife.
"Bruce," she says, "I thought you said you had the only one in the
But Harry at the drug store has one too."
"Well, er," Bruce flusters, "Harry and I were in the war together, I
had two, so I gave him one of mine."
"Oh. Well, why did you give him the best one?"
God created woman, and she had three breasts.
He said to the woman,
"Is there anything on you that you'd like to change?"
She said, "Yes. Could you get rid of this middle breast?"
God snapped his fingers and it was done.
She exclaimed, holding the third breast in her hand,
"What am I going to do with this useless boob?"
Thus God created man.
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are
far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers
calmed you down?"
"Yes" the mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" he asked.
"Who cares?" she replied.
A guy found a magic lamp and naturally, rubbed it. The genie popped out
and said, "I'll grant you any wish you want."
The guy thought and thought and finally gave his answer. "I want to be
hard all the time and get all the ass I want."
"As you wish," the genie replied.
So, the genie turned him into a toilet seat.
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing
to marry a man if he has never been with a woman. After several
unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.
She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in
the Australian outback.
They end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the
bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the
bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room,
naked and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner.
"What happened?" she asks.
"I've never been with a woman," he says, "but if it's anything like a
kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get."