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020522 - www.solstikkan.has.it - has more jokes ;-)
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A grandfatherly advice, came when he paused, looked me in the eye and said, "Son, Don't marry a woman with big hands. It makes your dick look smaller."
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The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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A gas station in "redneck country" was trying to increase its sales so
the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."

Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked
for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his Free sex.

The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, but you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time, but maybe next time."

Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time,
pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that
game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

The buddy replied, "No, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week
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The Queen and Princess Anne are out for a drive in one of the
Queen's Range Rovers.
Suddenly some armed robbers leap out of the bushes and stop
the car.
"Give us the money", they shout at the Queen.
"But I'm the Queen of England, I have no need for money."
"Oh, shit", says the leader of the armed band, and turns to Anne.
"Give us yer jewels."
"But I don't wear my jewels all the time, only on state
occasions."
The armed robbers look fed up, whens suddenly they hear the sound of wailing sirens approaching.
"Quick, out of the car! We'll have the Range Rover at least," and with that the robbers drive off.
As the Queen and Anne are waiting for the Police to get there, Anne
turns to the Queen, "What did you do with all the cash you had? You're always loaded."
"Ah," says the Queen, "I saw the robbers and in the few seconds before they got to the car I rolled up my notes and tucked them into that little place that only women have." Reaching under her skirt, she produces several thousand pounds in notes. "And what did you do with your jewels? You always wear lots of jewelry, my dear."
"Well, like you, in those few seconds before the robbers got to the
car, I slipped off my rings, necklaces and tiara, and like you, slipped them into that little place that only women have."
Reaching down she plucks out her jewelry.
They both sit quietly for a few minutes, before the Queen turns to Anne
"You know, if Fergie had been with us, we could still have the Range Rover."
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A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you
should know five things . . .

1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde gal.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

"Now think about is seriously mister - do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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