020526 - www.solstikkan.has.it - has more
Why is sex with your wife like a Store 24?
There's not much variety, but what else is open at 3:00 in the morning?
My younger sister was having one of her first gynelogical appointments and she had some questions for the doctor.
"Doctor" she asked, "I can't ask my parents, They would kill me but my boyfreind wants to have anal sex.
I don't know what to tell him, I mean I don't know anything about it.
Can I get pregnant?"
The kindly old doctor smiled whimsicaly and replied "Of couse, you can my dear.
Where do you think lawyers come from?"
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between their establishments.
A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he ran out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied.
The rabbi considered this a moment, then said, "Oh," and ran back inside the synagogue. He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, ran to the back of the car and cut off the last two inches of the tailpipe.
Passing a small patch of shrubbery he hears some rustling in the bushes. Peering over the stone fence he sees a farmer screwing a sheep.
Well, this gets his attention rather quickly and he begins to put
together his sermon based upon sex.
A little farther along the country lane, he sees the same thing going on across the other side of the road. Now he really has some material to go on. As he comes back into town, he crosses over the stone bridge and hears something splashing in the waters below.
There he sees another man furiously masturbating away.
So comes Sunday and he starts to let go with thunder and lightning in his sermon. "Faith," he says. "There I was a walking out in the country and I saw a man having relations with a sheep. Not a mile later I saw another man having relations with another sheep. And I thought to myself, the morals of this town are terrible, but I was even further surprised when as I came back into town I saw another man under the bridge having relations with himself."
Before he can say anything more, a voice comes out of the back of the church, "Ah, that's McSorley, Father. He never could catch a sheep."
Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by.
She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home
because he was performing an appendectomy.
"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little
girl. Do you know what it means?"
"Sure! Fifteen-hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anesthesiologist!"
A guy is on a business trip in Houston and buys a really cool pair of snakeskin boots. He can't wait to show his new boots to his wife. Upon returning from his trip late the next evening, his wife is in the bathroom getting ready for bed. He quickly strips down naked except for his new snakeskin boots and stands in the bedroom to wait for her.
As the wife emerges from the bathroom her husband asks,
"Well honey, do you notice anything special?" to which the
wife replies" Yeah, it's limp!"
"It's not limp!" exclaims the husband. " It's admiring my new snakeskin boots!"
"Next time buy a hat."
Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In LAW..... But Aren't:
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law........ but isn't:
1. Think you can get me off?