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020602 - remember - www.solstikkan.has.it - new pix !!!
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I married a nun; nun in the morning; nun at night...
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Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was buttering up his teacher.
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Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says,
"Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30-year-old!"

Leon replies, "You're kidding." "I can't even manage to do it once."
"What's your secret?"

Elmer replies, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread."

So the second old man rushes to the store. The clerk asks the old man,
"May I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole-wheat bread, please."

The clerk says, "That's a lot of bread." "It's sure to get hard before
you're done."

The old man says, "Damn!" "Does everyone know about this except me?"
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After several exciting dates, Jim invited Tina over to his house for a
home-cooked dinner.

When she sat down at the table, she noticed that the dishes were the
dirtiest that she had ever seen in her life.

"Have these dishes ever been washed?" Tina asked, running her fingers
over the grit and grime.

Jim replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them."

Tina felt a bit apprehensive, but started eating. It was really
delicious and she said so, despite the dirty dishes.

When dinner was over, Jim took the dishes outside, whistled and
yelled, "Here, Soap! Here, Water!"
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What Should Sex and Parking Spaces have in common:

You should never have to wait to find one
You should be able to slide right into one
Spaces in the front are always the best
When there are no spaces in front, spaces in the rear are just fine.
It make you jealous when you see someone else is double-parked.
Your space should still be open and waiting when you get back.
People are willing to wait in line for the good spaces.
Spaces with short time limits are annoying and never satisfying.
We're all looking for the free space with the "unlimited" time limit.
A house isn't a home without a parking space.
Some people are uncomfortable with a space in the rear, just do it.
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What are the worst three words you could hear during sex?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"
B. "The Condom Broke!"
C. "I've got AIDS
D. "Get off me!"
E. "Is it in?"
F. "Who are you?"
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A very well-built young blond was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated she was.
"I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that,too."

The shrink thought for a moment and said... "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?"

The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says...
"Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"
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This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out into town and party, so he says to his new wife: Honey, I'll be right back...

Where are you going coochi cooh...? Asks the wife.
I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.

The wife puts her hands on her hips and says to him:
You want a beer my love...? Then she opens the door to the
refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands
from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc....

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can
think of saying is: Yes, loolie loolie ... but the bar .... you
know ... the frozen glass.

He didn't get to finish saying the sentence, when the wife
interrupts him by saying: You want a frozen glass puppy face...?
She takes out of the freezer a huge beer mug so frozen that the
wife was getting the chills from holding it.

The husband looking a bit pale says:
Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hoer's de devours that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?

You want hoer's de devours poochi pooh..? She opens the oven and
takes out 15 dishes of different hoer's de devours ...
chicken wings, pigs in the blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc...

But sweet honey ... at the bar ... you know ... the swearing, the
dirty words and all that...

You want dirty words cutie pie...?
HERE, DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR FUCKING FROZEN GLASS AND EAT
YOUR FUCKING SHIT HOER'S DE VOURS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING
ANYWHERE. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!
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