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A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant.
The doctor says, "I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?"
The girl thought and then asked, "Doc, if you ate a can of 'Baked
Beans', would you know exactly which bean made you fart?"
In a small town in Tennessee, Big Bubba decides it's time for his son,
14 year old Billy Bob, to learn the facts of life. He takes him to the
local house of ill repute, which is fronted by a beauty parlor.
Bubba introduces Billy Bob to the madam, and explains that it's time for his indoctrination to sex."
The madam says, "Bubba you've been such a good customer over the years,
I'm going to see to your son personally."
So the madam takes Billy Bob by the hand and leads him upstairs, where
she completes his deflowering.
Later, as they are walking downstairs the madam says,
"Since this is your first time, I'm going to see that you get the full
treatment before you leave, I'm going to give you a manicure too."
Two weeks later Bubba and Billy Bob run into the madam on the town's main street.
Billy Bob is acting a little shy, so the madam smiles and says,
"Well, Billy Bob, don't you remember me?"
"Yes ma'am the boy stammers, "You're the lady that gave me the crabs
and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn't scratch 'em."
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman
with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.
The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"
The husband replies, "Autumn."
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer
heart attacks than the British or Americans
Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.