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020708 - new daily pix at www.solstikkan.has.it
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
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A South Australian is drinking in a Victorian bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everyone in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the South Australian just shrugs, "That's about average in Adelaide, folks ... like I said, my boy is a typical S.A. baby boy."

Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW"! were heard. One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical S.A. baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. We were going to call you; so how much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born."

The South Australian father takes a slow swig from his Coopers Draught, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bar and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."
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A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to his house for an early afternoon quickie.
"Don't worry," he assures her, "my wife is out of town on a business trip, so there's no risk."
As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, "We have to stop! I forgot to bring birth control!"
"No problem," he replies, "I'll get my wife's diaphragm."
After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom in a fury.
"That witch!" he exclaims. "She took it with her! I always knew she didn't trust me!"
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A man goes to the doctors for surgery and notices the woman next to him has the skin was off both of her knees.
What happened to you, fell off your bike?
"No" she replies, "doggy style"
"Dirty cow, you'll have to do it from the front next time"
"I would" she replies." but the dog's breath smells terrible"
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Two drunk blondes are stranded in the middle of nowhere trying to get home. The first blonde needs to take a piss bad so she tromps off into the bushes.

After almost 10 minutes the second blonde begins to get worried and
heads into the field to look for the first. She walks for almost a
kilometer until she finally finds the first blonde.... kneeling beneath
a horse, sucking its cock.
"What in the world are you doing that for???" asks the second blonde.
The first blonde sucks her lips away from the huge cock and drools,
"Hold on, I think I may be able to get us a free ride home!"
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Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.
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