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020805 - !!!! new pix on www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
Marriage.
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What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.
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What has little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
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One day a little girl went to the playground. While she was there a
little boy told her to climb up the jungle gym.

"No," she said. "I'll pay you 10 cents," he said. "OK" and she did.
When she got home she told her mother all about it.
Her mother said," Don't do that he just want's to see your underwear."

The next day the little girl went to the playground again. The
same little boy told her to climb up the jungle gym again.
She told him, "My mother said not to"
He replied, "This time I'll give you 50cents"
And so she did. When she got home she told her mother all about it.
Her mother just shrugged; "Didn't I tell you not to do that, he just
wants to see your under wear?"

The next day the little girl went to the playground again and the
same little boy asked her the same question. "No" she said.
"This time I'll give you a dollar," he said, So she did.
When she got home she told her mother and when she said, "he
just wants to look at your underwear"
She replied, " Well I guess I sure fooled him, because I didn't
wear any!"
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A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.
"Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands.

"At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything
there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works
hell, even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the
phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon.
She calls up the place to check her husband's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
"Yes it is," bartender answers.
"Do you have huge golden doors?"
"Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"
"Most certainly do."
"What about golden urinals?"
There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling,
"Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!"
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What does PMS stand for?
Penis Must Suffer!
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A man cuddled up to his wife and softly whispered into her ear: "Could we make love, please dear?"
"Not tonight, darling, I've got a splitting headache," she replied."Please, I'll only stick it in for a minute," pleaded her husband.

His wife replied: "What do you think I am, a f-cking microwave?
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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9
unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on
the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat
down on the steps put her face in her hands and moaned, "I come home
to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what
do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"
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Random Thoughts:

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
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