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020916 - !!! new TODAY PIX at www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"
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A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms.He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"

She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
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A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these."
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Buffie walks past three men in the office who are all bemoaning the
fact that they are about to be audited during the coming month.

Says the first guy with a groan, "I'm screwed!" "I'm screwed, too!"
says the other guy, slapping his forehead. "Guys, I am about to be
f-cked beyond all recognition by this audit!" exclaims the third guy
in anguish.

Just then, one of the guys notices Buffie standing there listening.
She now has a very thoughtful look on her face. "Are you OK?" asks the guy.

"Yes," replies Buffie, "but I was wondering... How do I go about getting audited?"
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Three guys are golfing with the club pro. First guy tees off
and hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and
says, "What did I do wrong?"

The pro says "Loft".

The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods. He
asks the pro, "What did I do wrong?"

The pro says "Loft".

The third guy tees off and slices into a pond. He asks the pro,
"What did I do wrong?"

The pro says "Loft".

As they're walking to their balls, the first guy finally
speaks up. He says to the pro, "The three of us hit completely
different tee shots, and when we asked you what we did wrong
you answered the same exact answer each time. What is loft?"

The pro says, "Lack Of F-cking Talent"
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TOP 10 REASONS WHY CYBER SEX IS BETTER
10. If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name
is easier then changing your real name.
9. Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional.
8. If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard.
7. You can exercise your offensive habits without embarrassing
yourself.
6. Viagra! Who needs Viagra?
5. Your partner could have more of a personality
than your inflatable friends.
4. Three words: No shotgun weddings.
3. All guys look like George Clooney and all women like Pamela
Anderson.
2. They never have to know you live in your parents basement.
1. If you catch a virus, only your computer dies.
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