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020920 -
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Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that
money can buy." Steve Martin.
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By invitation, twenty CEOs board an airplane and, once on board, are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first to feature pilotless technology: It is an uncrewed aircraft.

Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system.
Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.

One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed.
When asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replied: "If it's the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off."
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"My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said,'
that's a big word for a girl of fifteen'." Emo Philips.
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How do you get your husband interested in oral sex?
Douche with beer.
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On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right," he asked, "for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?"
"Absolutely not!" replied the pastor.
"In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July."
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A daughter comes home from the Peace Corps in Uganda and surprises her Mother who is in the process of lighting the Friday night candles and serving the matzoth ball soup.
The mother is so thrilled she can't stop hugging and kissing her daughter.
Finally she says, "Sit down, darling. Tell me all about what you were doing."
Her daughter says, "Mom, I got married."
"Oy, mazeltov," says the mother. "How could you do that without telling me? What's he like? What does he do? Where is he?"
"He's waiting outside on the porch while I tell you."
"What are you talking about? Bring him in. I want to meet my new son-in-law."
The daughter brings him in and to her consternation the mother sees a black man standing before her wearing a big grin, a feathered cod piece, an enormous head dress, animal tooth beads and he is holding a very tall spear in an upright position.
The mother grabs her daughter, slaps her back and forth on both cheeks and screams, "Dummy, Stupid, Idiot. .I said RICH doctor!"
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Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local
minister comes walking around the corner.
The minister says, "My, Farmer Petrovich, you're certainly giving that
sheep a beating. You wouldn't do that to your wife, would you?"
The farmer says, "I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time
I tried to mount her!"
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