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020924 - NEW PIX on www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep!
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A professor at Auburn University was giving a lecture on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asked, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raised their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raised their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raised their hands.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raised their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one more question ... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Billy Bob, way in the back raised his hand.
The professor took off his glasses, peers toward the back of the room and says, "Son, in all the years I've been teaching this class, no one has claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and made his way to the podium. As he reached the front of the room, the professor said,
"Well, now, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
Billy Bob replied, "Geeeeez! From way back thar I thought you said "Goats."
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A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the
husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"
He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and
ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and
wiggled more than she ever had before.
When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he
noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said,

"That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you
didn't hurt yourself did you?"
His wife said, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of
my ass."
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Dear Abby: You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in
sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all
interest in sex years ago, and he is a doctor.
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Dear Abby: My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $30.00
an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
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A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom,
past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough,
there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
"You rotten bastard," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart
attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"
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An older couple are playing in the annual club championship.
They are playing in a playoff hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match.

On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, "I can't believe you missed that putt!" "That putt was no longer than my 'willy'."
The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said,
"yes dear, but it was much harder!"
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"Large cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone."
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A guy gets put in a nursing home by his son. He dosen't know if he's going to like it at first, but he decides to give it a shot for his son's sake.

The first morning in the nursing home he wakes up with a hard on. Out of nowhere a beautiful nurse walks in, kneels down & blows him without saying a word.

The guy gets on the phone with his son and says, "Son! I love this place! Thank you so much for putting me in this nursing home!".

The son says, "Wow, Pop. You sound really happy. What happenened?"

The old man says, "You won't believe it! I woke up this morning with a hard on & the most beautiful nurse I've ever seen came into my room and blew me. Didn't say a word, just blew me."

"Well that sounds great dad, congratulations."

Later that day the old man is walking down the hall in his walker. He slips and falls and can't get up. A big hillbilly orderly comes up to him, rips his pants off, screws him and leaves him there in a heap.

The old man crawls to a phone and calls his son. "Son you've got to get
me out of here, this place is nuts!"

"What happend pop you sound terrible!"

"Well, I was walking with my walker and I fell down and I couldn't get up.
Then this big hillbilly orderly came by, ripped my pants down and screwed me!"

"Well ya know dad you got a blowjob this morning, You gotta take the good with the bad..."

"No, you don't understand, Son!"

"I only get a hard on once a month! I fall down three-four times a day!"
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English.........I Love You
Spanish.........Te Amo
French..........Je T'aime
German..........Ich Liebe Dich
Japanese........Ai Shite Imasu
Italian.........Ti Amo
Chinese.........Wo Ai Ni
Swedish.........Jag Älskar Dig

Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina,South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee,
Virginia, West Virginia, and Kentucky..............Nice Tits.
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What two words have the most letters?
Post office.
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