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020929 - remember daily pix at www.solstikkan.has.it @/@
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Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
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Three accountants and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three accountants buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an engineer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an accountant.

They all board the train. The engineers take their respective seats but all three accountants cram into a rest room and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the rest room door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The engineers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the engineers decide to copy the accountants on the return trip and save some money (knowing that accountants are clever with money). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the accountants don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed engineer. "Watch and you'll see," answers an accountant.

When they board the train, the three accountants cram into a rest room and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the accountants leaves his rest room and walks over to the rest room where the engineers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

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The wife appeared at the breakfast table in curlers and a worn bathrobe.
The husband looked up from his newspaper and said, "Why can't you look
like you did when we were first married?"
"How can I?" she snapped back. "I'm not pregnant!"
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A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a
large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials.
"Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said.
"So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine."
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The blonde woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way
too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any
actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, ... as a matter if fact, Yes !" she replied.
"I've been divorced three times."
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Bob was excited about his new rifle and decided to go bear hunting.
He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. He bent over to start cleaning it when there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a big black
bear.
The black bear said, "That was my cousin and you've got two choices... Either I maul you to death or we have sex."

After considering briefly, Bob decided to accede to the latter alternative.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Bob soon recovered and vowed revenge.

He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.
Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge
grizzly bear stood right next to him.
The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Bob, that was my cousin and you've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."

Again, Bob thought it was better to cooperate. Although he survived, it
took several months before Bob finally recovered !!!!

Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly
and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but, then, there was a tap on his
shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear looked at him very sadly and said, "Admit it Bob, you don't
come here just for the hunting, do you ?"
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The world according to men :

Every blowjob you give, adds one month to your life.

If you swallow, the protein ingested is equivalent to five porterhouse
steaks - but contains only 150 calories.

A handjob a day keeps arthritis away.

Every ten minutes of dry humping is equivalent to ten minutes on the treadmill.

Doing it doggie-style will erase crow's feet and wrinkles.

Intercourse prevents divorce.

Regular screwing releases Vitamin F, which increases the number of brain cells.
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