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021022 - - !! pix on www.solstikkan.has.it updated !!
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If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?
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Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," Little Johnny said
to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best Christmas present I ever got."
"That's great," said his uncle. "Do you know how to play it?"
"Oh, I don't play it," Little Johnny said. "My mom gives me a dollar a
day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a
week not to play it at night."
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"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant.
"Why did you leave?"
"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I had an anxiety complex. If I was on time, I was compulsive."
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"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
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This couple just got maried, so the husband thought he would lay down the rules to his new bride. He said "Honey, when you want to make love to me Yank On My Cock Once, When you don't Yank on it 57 times."
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Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and go into the woods.
Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother.
Mommy "I was at the playground and I saw daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."

At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asks Little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny starts his story, describing the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and Johnny said, "Then Daddy and Aunt Jane started doing that same thing Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the army."
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The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?"

"Not really," she replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train."

"Poor dear," he said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?"

"I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there."
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What does the word S-I-N-G-L-E stand for?
Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday
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I'm Not Saying She's Easy, But...

She's been on her knees more times than Billy Graham.
She's been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum.
She's done more screwing than Black and Decker.
She's responsible for more merry men than Robin Hood.
She's turned more tricks than Harry Houdini.
She's been boarded more times than Amtrak.
She's been mounted more often than Trigger.
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