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021029 - !!! 20 very new pix at www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
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In a second grade sex education class, a little girl asks, "Teacher, can my mother get pregnant?"
The teacher asks, "How old is your mother?"
The little girl says, "Forty."
The teacher says, "Yes, Your mother could get pregnant."
The little girl asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?"
The teacher asks, "How old is your sister?"
The little girl answers, "Nineteen."
The teacher says, "Oh my yes, your sister certainly could get
pregnant."
The little girl asks, "Can I get pregnant?"
The teacher asks, "How old are you?"
The little girl says, "I'm seven years old."
The teacher says, "No, you can't get pregnant."
The little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and
says, "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about."
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An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this really bad flatulence
problem, but they don't stink and don't make a sound." The doctor says
"O.K., take two of these pills every day for two weeks and come back." A
week later the lady comes back really mad and says, "Now, not only do I fart
a lot, but they stink really bad!"
The doctor then said, "Now that we have your sinuses cleared, let's work on
your hearing"
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Scientists recently announced they will use lawyers instead of mice for their experiments for two reasons:
1)The scientists become less attached to the lawyers.
2)There are some things that even mice won't do.
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Three women were talking about their love lives.
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."
The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."
The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it's still going."
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Three vampires go into a bar. The bartender walks up to the first one and says, "What can I get you?"
The vampire says, "I want a pint of blood."
Then bartender then asks the second vampire, and he too replies that he would like a pint of blood.
The bartender then asks the third vampire for his drink order.
The vampire says, "I want a pint of plasma."
The bartender thinks for a minute and says, "Let me see if I've got this right. That's two bloods and a blood light?"
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Some Truths About Men...
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? Shut the door!
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal
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Two blondes are waiting on a bus stop, when a bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver:
"Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"

The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm Sorry."

At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles and twitters:
"Will it take ME?"
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