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021114 - !!!! www.solstikkan.has.it again !!!
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Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the same time?
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What is the most common pickup line in a lesbian bar?
"Your face, or mine?"
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It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo.
When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's father answers and invites
him in."Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" he
says.
"That's cool." says Bobby.

Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to the drive-in movie.
Peggy Sue's father responds "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it."
Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and he says "Whaaaat?" "Yeah," says Peggy Sue's father,"Peggy Sue really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!"

Bobby's eyes light up and smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation,Bobby escorts his date out the front door while dad is saying "Have a good evening kids,"with a wink for Bobby.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her father:
"DAMMIT DADDY! THE TWIST!!! IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!!!"
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!!!! new moving pix @ www.panda-sonic.has.it !!!
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A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits the bartender comes over, and asks for their order.
The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich.
"What's yours?"
"I'll have a beer, too" says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.
The next day, the man, and the ostrich come again, and the man says
I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the two enter again."
The usual?" asks the bartender.
"Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch" says the
man.
"Same for me" says the ostrich.
"That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.
The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me sir.

How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your
pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the
exact money is always there," says the man.
The bartender asks "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man replies "My second wish was for a chick with long legs."
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Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26!
What kind of a wedding is that?"

The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."

"What do you call it?"

"We call it a football wedding."

The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"

The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"
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While, I was recovering from surgery and spending most of the day in bed, my seven year old son asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend.
I told him the television was my boyfriend, he entertained me all the time. The only problem was the television set was old and would just shut off for no reason. But, I would just give it a few hard wacks on the side and it would come back on, which was no big deal.
A couple of days later the pastor stopped by to check on my recovery.
I was trying to get the television to come back on so, my son answered the door. The pastor smiled and asked "Is your mom busy, son?
My little one looked up at him and replied,
"No, sir, she is just in the bedroom banging her boyfriend".
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Blonde Moments!

Ted: "I see you bought a new car. What's the make?"
Blondie Sue: "A Perndle."
Ted: "A what?"
Sue: "A Perndle."
Ted: "I've never heard of a Perndle before."
Sue: "Me either, but that's what it says, right over the steering
wheel."
Ted: "It says *what* over the steering wheel?"
Sue: "The name of the car. It's spelled out, right above the steering
wheel and right beneath the speedometer: P-R-N-D-L."
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