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021118 - !!!! 21 new pix at www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.
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When farmer Jones' barn burned down, his wife, Lynn, called the insurance company right away.

"We had that barn insured for fifty-thousand, and I want my money," Lynn told the insurance agent.

"Whoa there, just a minute," said the insurance agent. "Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar worth."

There was a long pause, and then Lynn replied, "If that's how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband."
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"There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz SLK 230
convertible."
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A little Jewish woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital, said, "Hello,darling, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information regarding your patients. I want to know if the patient is getting better, or doing like expected, or is getting worse.

The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

She said, "Yes, darling! she's Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."
He said, "Oh,yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, her blood work just came back as normal, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o' clock."

The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! that's fantastic, darling!... That's wonderful news!"

The man on the phone said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be
a close family member or a very close friend!"

She said, "I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Cohen, my doctor, doesn't tell me shit!"
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According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year. Male drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to December.
Females retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen, had to be a
girl. We should've known. ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man
in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
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A young farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbor there.
Girl: "My father isn't home, but I know what you want and I can help you.
You want our bull to service your cow. Well, my father charges one hundred dollars for his best bull."
Neighbor: "That's not I want."
Girl: "We have a young bull who is just starting out.
My father charges fifty dollars for him."
Neighbor: "That's not I want."
Girl: "We have an old bull out in the pasture. He can still do a job.
My father charges only twenty dollars for him."
Neighbor: "That's not what I want. I came here to see your father about your brother. Your brother Elmer made my daughter pregnant."
Girl: "Oh. You'll have to see my father about that because I don't know what he charges for Elmer."
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An old maid was held up in a dark alley. She explained she had no money,
but the robber insisted that it must be in her bra, or in her panties
and started feeling around.

"I told you I haven't got any money," the spinster said, "but if you
keep doing that, I'll write you a check."
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Big John, a huge lumberjack, goes to the dentist with a terrific toothache. The dentist checks him over and says "That tooth has to come out.
Do you want gas or novocain?"
Big John says "Just pull the damn thing, Doc I don't want anything".
The dentist says "You'd better have something the pain will be intolerable".
Big John says "Doc, I've only felt pain twice in my life".
The dentist says "Tell me about it".
Big John tells the dentist he was in the woods on a snowy winter day and he had to take a terrific dump, so he dropped his pants and squatted. He didn't realize he was squatting over a bear trap and the trap snapped shut on his balls. He said he felt real pain.
The dentist asked him when he felt pain for the second time and
Big John said "When I got to the end of the chain!"
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