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021119 -- !!! new mpg at www.panda-sonic.has.it !!!!
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"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams.
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Goldie, a recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir," how are you?

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied.

"Do you live around here?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered, continuing to read.

Goldie persisted. "Do you like pussycats?"

With that, he threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers tore off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
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Sex is a three-letter word which sometimes needs old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
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A man walks into a bar. He sees a good-looking, smartly dressed woman
sitting on the bar stool.
He walks up behind her and says, "Hi there, how's it going?"
Having already had a few drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eyes and says,
"Listen! I'll screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place,
it doesn't matter."
He says, "No kidding, I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?
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There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived
on the plane, he felt the seats and said, 'Wow, these seats are big!'
The person next to him answered, 'Everything is big in Texas.'
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon
arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his
hands. He exclaimed, 'Wow these mugs are big!'
The bartender replied, 'Everything is big in Texas.'
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the
bathroom was located. The bartender replied, 'Second door to the
right.'
The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over
and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which
lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to
death, the blind man started shouting,
'Don't flush, don't flush!'
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Conficious say...Man with athletic fingers-makes broad jump!
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The blonde goes into the store and does her shopping. When she finishes and returns to her car she discovers that she has locked her keys in the car.

Finding no one to help she returns to the store in search of a clothes
hanger. After locating a hanger she goes back out to the parking lot
and carefully opens it up and proceeds to work on her door to get it
unlocked.
After a few minutes, she succeeds in opening the door.

When she gets home, beaming with pride, she tells her story to her husband. She also reassured him that she was going to make sure she was prepared for the next time
She says: "I kept that hanger; I put it in the trunk."
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A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were
sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of
the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling
each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon
everyone had exited the church except for one, an elderly gentleman who sat
calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's
ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and
said "Don't you know who I am?"
"Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't."
"Don't you realise I can kill you with a word?"
"Don't doubt it for a minute."
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY
for all eternity??"
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid??" asked Satan.
"Nope."
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of
me?
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years"
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