===============================================================
021120 - !!! new accident @ www.panda-sonic.has.it
================================================================
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
=================================================================
70 year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results.
Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?"

George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, poof! The light goes on & I go to the bathroom and then poof! The light goes off!"

"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "That's incredible!"

A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife.
"Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! The light goes off?"
Thelma replied, "Darn fool's been pissing in the fridge again!"
===============================================================
An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"

At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen police showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad." "It's the best I could do from here."
================================================================
If the African yak spins in circles till it gets dizzy, is that called an afro-dizzy-yak?
================================================================
Asher called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Asher, it sure is true," responded his lawyer.

"And now someone is suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all those burgers and fries, is this true?"

"Sure is, Asher, but why you asking?" inquired his lawyer.

"Do you think I could win a suit against Budweiser for all the ugly women I've slept with?"
================================================================
If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
==================================================================
Two hot young ladies are talking one afternoon about the weekend just past. The first named Faba, and the second, Mujo, discussed Faba's last date:

"You know what Mujo, I was out last night with an intellectual type," Faba declared.

"What's that? What's do you mean intellectual type?" Mujo asked with curiosity.

"Well, I mean I was dating a man who is very intellectual and intelligent," explained Faba to her friend.

Mujo giggles, and asked, "So, how was it?"

"First, he took me to dinner. Then he took me to a cinema movie. And then he took me out for a drive. After all that, he took me to his house. He began an intellectual conversation. And finally, he took out
his penis."

"What is this word, 'penis'," Mujo asked, unfamiliar with the clinical terminology.

"Oh, it is what intellectuals have. It looks like a dick, just much smaller !"
===============================================================
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend
says, OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
==============================================================