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021121 - !!!! see spice boys @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER!
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A woman goes to her doctor and says she wants an operation because her vagina lips are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the operation a secret as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out. The doctor agrees.

She wakes up from her operation and finds three roses carefully placed
beside her bed. Outraged she immediately calls in the doctor and says,
"I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!

"Don't worry," he says, "I didn't tell anybody. The first rose is from me.
I felt bad because you went through this all by yourself. The second one is from my nurse. She assisted me with the operation, and she had the operation done herself. "Who is the third rose from?" she asked.

Oh," says the doctor, "that rose is from a guy upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!"
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Crewless Plane

By invitation, twenty CEOs board an airplane and, once on board, are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first to feature pilotless technology: It is an uncrewed aircraft.

Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system.

Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.

One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed.

When asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replied: "If it's the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off."
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A preacher was visiting the old lady who played organ at the church every Sunday. He walked into her house, and couldn't help but notice that there was a condom in a fish bowl on her organ. They sat down to tea, and he asked her about it.
"Oh, it's the neatest little thing! See, I was walking along one
day when I noticed a square packet on the sidewalk. I picked it up, and
it said to remove from package, keep moist and place it on my organ.
It is supposed to protect against disease.
And you know what? I haven't been sick once since I found it!"
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What do you call a bunch of blondes with yeast infections?
A wine and cheese party!
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Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
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A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and the same again.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the darn cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.... Hours later, the man calls home to his wife:
"Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers..."why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered: "Put that son of a bitch on the phone,
I'm lost and need directions!"
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One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy
Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide
grin. "Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"
"Bobby Sue gave it to me," Bubba replied.
"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new
truck?"
"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on
County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulls off the road,
put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked
the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said 'Bubba, take
whatever you want'.
So I took the truck!"
"Bubba, you're a smart man! Them clothes woulda never fit you."
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