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021212 - !!! now daily xmas pix on www.solstikkan.has.it !!!
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When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him. "Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"

"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the
manager asked.

"That's the one!"

"That's great!" the manager cried,
"
I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the
ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh," the clerk replied.

"After I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."
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What is the difference between a Secretary and a Personal Secretary?
The Secretary says,"Good Morning,Sir"
and the Personal Secretary says,"Its Morning,Sir".
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A waiter brings a lady her clam chowder, and his thumb is hooked over the cup.
She says, "Waiter, your thumb is in my soup." He says,
"Yeah. I got arthritis and the heat makes it feel better."
She says, "Well, then, why don't you stick your thumb up your ass?"
He says, "I do that in the kitchen."
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Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message, and slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said: "Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your cat."
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Did ya hear the one about the two pollock's driving to the east coast on the southern route?
Seems as they got to Texas they saw a sign that read "CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD" so when they got to the filling station, they pulled in and got out and started cleaning the restrooms!

As they traveled the south they found it difficult to make any real progress as there were many "CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD" signs along the way.

When they finally arrived in Alabama they came across a sign that read "Wanted, two BLACKS for RAPE", the two pollock's looked at each other and thought, Damn! those BLACKS get all the good jobs!!!!
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What do you get if you cross a Hell's Angel with a Jehovah's Witness?
Someone who knocks on your door on a Sunday morning and tells YOU to f--k off!
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Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all
have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off
the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law
against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And
with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started
laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said
to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in
this river?!"
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021212 - !!! now daily xmas pix on www.solstikkan.has.it !!!
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