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021217 - !!! see 6 big silicon @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
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A group of Florida senior citizens were talking about their ailments.
"My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee."
"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee."
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck."
"My blood pressure pills make my dizzy."
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."
"Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive."
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Goldie was sitting on a beach in Florida, attempting to strike up a conversation with the attractive gentleman reading on the blanket beside hers.
"Hello, sir," she said, "Do you like movies?"
"Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.
Goldie persisted. "Do you like gardening?"
The man again looked up from his book. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.
Undaunted, Goldie asked, "Do you like pussycats?"
With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Goldie, ravaging her as she'd never been ravaged before.
As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie dragged herself to a
sitting position and panted, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"
The man thought for a moment and replied,
"How did you know my name was Katz!
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Whats a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed
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!!!!! Play the beren @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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What did George Washington and Thomas Jefferson have in common?
They were the last two white people to have those names.
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A skydiving instructor was going through the question and answer period with his new students when one of them asked the usual question.

If our chute doesn’t open and the reserve doesn’t open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?

The jump instructor answered : "The rest of your life."
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It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so
why don't you have a seat?," he says.
"That's cool" says Bobby.
Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies
politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.
Carrie's father responds "Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."

Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby-so he asks Carrie's
Dad to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie really likes to
screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!" Well, this just made
Bobby's eyes light up, and his plan for the evening was beginning to
look pretty good. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.

About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the
door behind her, and screams at her father:
"DAMMIT DADDY! IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!!!"
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A guy sitting at an airport bar noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant; but which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and whispered the Delta slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, ooh shit, she doesn't work for Delta.

A few seconds later, the AA slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"
She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the list.

Next he tried United: "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?"
This time the woman turned and barked back at him "What the f*****g hell
do you want?"

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair...."aahhhh, British Airways".
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021217 - !!! see 6 big silicon @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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