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020625 - *** new TODAY PIX on www.solstikkan.has.it ***
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Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
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This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."
His friend replies, "How so?"
"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and
both of these together are putting me into a deep depression."
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A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object.
"I do have three hearts," said the doctor. "The first is from an 18-year old kid, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died. It's $100,000.
The second is from a marathon runner, 24 years old, great condition, very strong. He got hit by a bus. It's $150,000.
The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, and a steak lover. It's $500,000."
"Hey, why is that heart so expensive? He lived a terrible life!"
"Yeah, but it's from a lawyer and never been used."
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Yu stink so bad you make Right Guard turn left, Speed Stick slow down,
Secret obvious, and Sure confused.
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What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men usually miss all three.
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A detachment of paratroopers was practicing in a rural area. One jmper started down on the property of an old mountain man and his very large family.
One of the kids saw the chute floating down and yelled out to his father,
"Pa, bring your shotgun. The stork is bringing 'em full grown now!"
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If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.
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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde walk into a bar. For the sake of brevity, each one orders her drink with an abbreviated code word. The Brunette walks up to the bartender and says, "Hey give me an ML." The bartender nods his head and hands her a Miller Lite.
Following her, the Redhead walks up to the bartender and says,
"I'd like a BL." Giving her a nod, the bartender pulls up a Bud Lite.
Last, the Blonde walks up to the bartender and says, "Give me a Fifteen."
"A Fifteen?" the bartender replies, "What the hell is that?"
"Oh, you know," the blonde says, "A Seven and Seven."
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