===============================================================
020812 - !"#!"# new pix on www.solstikkan.has.it !"#!"#
=================================================================
A woman police officer pulled over a drunk driver.
She said "you are under arrest. Anything you say, can and will
be held against you".
The drunk replied: "tits"
=================================================================
How did the blonde get her ears pierced?
Answering the stapler.
=================================================================
I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a
break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having bald tires!!
So I called him a horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it
on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!!
This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner.
=================================================================
What do Disney World & VIAGRA have in common?
They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
=================================================================
How do you tell a Polish ladder from a normal one?
The Polish one has the word STOP stenciled on the top rung.
================================================================
Secrets to a happy marriage
1. It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex.
4. It is important that these three women never meet.
=================================================================
An old widow and widower named Mary and Steve get married. They are up there in age, and the romance, engagement and marriage was quick. They hoped they had enough strength to live through their wedding day and night. After the marriage ceremony, they retire to a nearby hotel.
Both are very nervous. Cautiously they begin to undress in front of each other. In the process, Mary, the old woman, removes her false teeth and
puts them in a glass. Mary then removes her prosthetic leg and leans it
against the wall.
She looks up at her new groom and smiles nervously, and Steve is intently watching... Mary continues. She removes her bra which contains false inserts; she removes a glass eye and gingerly places it in a special box on the nightstand. Again she shyly smiles at her aged spouse, and Steve continues to stare in an interested manner. As Mary takes off her wig, she realizes that Steve is not making much progress in getting undressed.
He's stopped undressing and is just staring at her.
She asks him, "What are you waiting for?"
Steve quickly replies, "You know what I want. Take it off and throw it over here!"
=================================================================
There are these two secretaries, a Blonde and a Red Head and the Red Head gets flowers sent to her.
The Blonde says, Boy those sure are pretty. The Red Head says, Yes and
I will probably have my legs behind my head all weekend.
The Blonde says, Why? don't you have a vase??
=================================================================