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020930 - new today pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served
us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
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The young couple is on their honeymoon. After a few hours of exhausting great sex he says, "Now you won't see me for a while."

"Where're on our honeymoon!" she exclaims. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Nowhere, Sweetie," he says. "Please turn over."
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How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
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Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned
to read. So, when he married and started a checking account, he signed his checks just, "XX".

He started his own business, which soon prospered.
He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank.
"Mr. Schwartz, I wanted to ask you about this check. We weren't sure
you had really signed it. All these years, you've been signing your
checks, 'XX'; this one is signed with three XXX's..."

Mr. Schwartz answered, "Since I've become so wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name!"
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Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation.
"Father!" she cried, "Just WAIT until you hear this!" The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, "Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited."

"Well, Father," the nun began, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!"

"A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest.

"But that's not what has me so excited, Father." Replied the nun, "It was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall!!"

The priest exclaimed, "What a very serious infraction! What did you do?" The nun replied, "Well, I hit the ceiling, Father."

The Priest replied, "And how much did you win?"
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Answering Machine Recordings
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends,
you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
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Answering Machine Recordings
Hi, this is Ed. In honor of Halloween, I'm about to perform an unspeakable pagan ritual. So please leave a message. Oh, unless you're a virgin ... in which case, why don't you stop by?
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very
sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability
to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly
compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
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