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021220 - !!! see new 17 bikers @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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The love of money is the root of all evil, and man NEEDS roots!
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An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department.
The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies, etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant, Abdul, to fetch him a glass of water.

Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed.

"Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the Grand Emir.

"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul,
but a man is sitting on the well."
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A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"

"What denomination?" the clerk asks.

"Oh my gosh, has it come to this?" the woman asks. "Give me 6 Catholic,
8 Lutheran, 14 Methodists and 22 Baptists.
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What's the definition of mixed emotions?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Did you miss REAL SPORT @ www.panda-sonic.has.it ???
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A woman is drying herself after a shower when she suddenly slips and lands spread-legged on the bathroom floor. She tries to stand up but she has landed so hard her crotch has stuck to the floor, creating such a vacuum that she can't move.
She calls out to her husband for help. He tries with all his strength to lift her but she won't budge. So he goes next door and gets his neighbor.

Both pull like oxen but she just won't move. She's well and truly stuck to the floor.

Suddenly the neighbor says, Why don't we just get a hammer and break
the floor tiles around her and lift her up that way?

Great idea, says the husband, but just let me rub her boobs a little
to arouse her.

Why? asks the confused neighbor.

So I can slide her into the kitchen. The tiles are cheaper in there.
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A guy is standing in a museum looking at a dinosaur skeleton. He approaches a nearby museum guard and asks him, "Excuse me, but how old is this skeleton?"

"It's 200 million years and six months old," replied the guard.

"How on earth can you be so specific?" asked the man.

"Well," replied the guard, "I've been here six months, and it was 200
million years old when I started"
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What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration.
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A little boy goes to the drugstore for some condoms. He goes up to the
pharmacist and asked him, "Sir, can you tell me where the ribbed condoms are?"

The pharmacist replied, "Son, do you know what condoms are used for?"

"Sure do" replied the boy, "They keep you from getting venereal diseases."

"Yes, that's true," said the pharmacist, "but do you know what the ribs
are for?"

The little boy thought for a moment, then looked up at the pharmacist
and replied, "Well, not exactly, but they sure do make the hair on the
backs of them goats stand up."
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This guy's in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts, "Ballroom please."

A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."
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Two blondes had pooled together their money an gotten a second-hand car.
They went driving up in the mountains, going around dangerous corners and curves at sixty mies an hour!

Finally the blonde passenger couldn't stand it any longer. "Every time you go around one of those tight turns so fast I get really scared!"

"If you get frightened," advised the driver, "why don't you do like I do?
I keep my eyes closed."
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Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
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021220 - !!! see new 17 bikers @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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