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021223 - !!! 24 new pix on www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of the season", Saint Peter said, " you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven on this holy day."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He flicked it on. "It represents a holy candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates", Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
He shook them and said, "They're bells"
Saint Peter said, "you may pass through the pearly gates.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
"What do these symbolize?" Saint Peter asked.
The man replied, "They're Carols"
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Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street
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Love is a flickering flame.
Marriage is a flickering television.
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A lady in a new Porsche is towed into a gas station.
The mechanic says, "What's the matter?"
She says, "It just conked out."
After he works on it a few minutes, it's purring like a kitten.
She says, "What was the problem?"
He says, "No big problem, just crap in the carburetor".
She says, "How many times a week do I have to do that?"
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Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is Chinese take-out.
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Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had only one golf ball.
"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?" he asked. The other guy
replied that he only needed one.
"Are you sure?" the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?"
The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose
it so I don't need another one."
"Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"
"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it."
"Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?
"The other guy replied, "That's okay too. You see, thisspecial golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back with this radio signal finder no problem."
Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?"
"No problem," says the other guy, "You see, this ball is florescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark."
Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"
The other guy replies, "I found it."
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Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is deciding on a sofa.
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Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on, indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served.
One of the passengers, upset because he was awakened, growled, "Who turned on the f--king lights!?"
"Oh, no sir," the nearest flight attendant replied. "Those are the
breakfast lights. You slept through the 'f--king lights'."
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Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven't bagged any.
One hunter looks at the other and says "I just don't understand it. Why aren't we getting any ducks?"
Her friend says "I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing the dog high enough."
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+Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.
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Deep in the backwoods, the hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a
lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor, "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's
another one coming!"
Sure enough, within minutes he delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern... It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor.
The hillbilly scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor,
"Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"
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Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough?!"
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021223 - !!! 24 new pix on www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
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